16 young teenage girls between the age of 13 and 17 years of age have become pregnant after a pool party went terribly wrong, reports the Tallahassee Herald this morning.
A simple weekend pool party turned to tragedy when one of the young men attending the birthday celebration ejaculated in the pool without warning the house guests, accidentally ending up impregnating half of the girls present at the celebration.
“I’m glad I didn’t have my swimsuit that day,” remembers Daliah Jennings, present during the celebration. “It was a surprise party to celebrate my 15th birthday, let’s just say that a baby in my womb is the kind of present I’m glad I didn’t get” she acknowledges, visibly relieved of not getting pregnant.
“Nothing like an orgy”
The young man claims there was no sex at the party at all and that he only ejaculated in the pool by accident.
“Some people in town say we had some kind of wild sex orgy going on and that’s how I got all those girls pregnant, but I’m proud to say that I am still a virgin and that if anyone doesn’t believe me, I’m ready to undergo medical examination to prove it if that’s what it takes,” says the 15 year old. “I’ve become some sort of a local celebrity. People come up to me all the time and shake my hand and congratulate me, but I didn’t do anything!” he adds, visibly sincere.
“Highly” potent sperm
Dr. John Suzukima of Tallahassee Memorial Healthcare Hospital, who was the first to link the multiple births to a single cause, believes the young man has a rare medical condition called spermafortis which makes his semen unusually potent.
“Clinical tests have proven that people who suffer from spermafortis have sperm counts close to a thousand times more potent and rich in spermatozoids than the average man,” he explains. “This kind of semen is fairly similar to that of common water mammals, such as dolphins, manatees and seals and has properties that make it incredibly resistant to water. This condition could definitely explain what happened in this case but clinical trials and further tests would be needed to prove this theory,” he told local reporters.
Most of the 16 girls are scheduled to undergo an abortion although two of the impregnated girls’ families have reportedly admitted that they have decided to bring the birth to term being devout Christians.-satire