Tatenda, also known as Tatts has shared a heartbreaking message for her sister Moana who passed away together with Ginimbi a month ago.
tatts_zw Went through all the photos in our albums ? i folded all your clothes neatly in cases? packed up your favorite shoes with tears on my face ? i hope that one day we get to meet again?❤️? so i tell you how my heart stopped beating for a while after hearing that you’re were really gone?
i want to share with you how i experienced life after you left me all alone with noone to guide me …. I want us to sit over a glass of cocktails once more ?? with you listening to me vent about how losing you made me realize that sometimes its not really what it is and you dont always get what you give for you gave love but not all of it was returned to you ?
i want to relive every moment one more time from the day that i was born to the day that you left ? for all the nights i ddnt say i love you ,i wañt a chance to say it double cause i really did love you? I want to explain to you how im literally nothing without you and how its going to be hard for me to walk this journey all on my own ?
i want to list down for you the people who were true to their friendships and commitment to you even in death ? i want us to argue about all the lousy mistakes i make that you always had to fix ? in Emma Bale’s voice ‘All i want is nothing more than to hear you knocking at my door cause if i could see your face or hear your voice once more ?
I’d die a happy girl im sure ‘ Mimie when you said your last goodbye which i actually ddnt know was meant to be forever, i died a little bit inside and the realization that with each and everyday that comes i wont be able to call u , text you ,to fight with you or to argue over petty stuff so we make up after or share the precious moments of Kayla’s life with you breaks me even more but i sing hallelujah cause you were an angel in the shape of my sister and you got to see the person i have become spread your wings over us for I know for sure your place was waiting for u in heaven #Heaven couldnt wait to have ?❤️ #Rest In Peace my other half # I love you ? always will?#Till we meet again ?️
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tatts_zw
tatts_zw I have stretched myself too thin ?Mimie I’ve tried out everything but nothing they said would make me feel better has changed a thing ?They said space will make me better ?they said time would help me heal but the question is how do you heal after having piece of your heart wripped out ?How do you pick up the pieces of a crumbling heart ?how does space heal the pain of losing someone who was not only a sister ?❤️? but a bestfriend ? an advisor ✍️ a teacher ? a provider ? actually more of my second mom ? …how do you continue breathing when you’re drowning and your head is under water ? Mimie they dont understand how we grow up with close to nothing and how you fought so hard all the days of your life to make sure we your family got everything ???❤️ i dont have the words to begin to explain to the world the pain i have in my heart ❤️ i cant begin to explain how helpless i feel at not being able to defend your name without me being verbally attacked or misqouted , how all the bad things they said about you went straight to my head and to my pierced through my heart? i cant begin to explain how i have no clue whatsoever on how to keep the memory of you alive in Kayla’s head and heart so she doesnt grow up and forget the one person who loved her with all her heart and soul ?i dont know how to narrate to her how you claimed her from day one and how she came first to you before everybody else without it wriping my heart out ? Ndotangira papi kumuudza kuti you left with no goodbye nor did you even give a hint that you were going to leave her so soon ?It doesn’t add up to me how you just decided to take a dive and leave us here all alone so how will it make sense to her ? i have no idea who i will turn when the pain cuts me deep and the night keeps me from sleeping ??Mimie who will fight my battles when words fail me and there’s no strength in my bones ? Mimie who did you think was going to stand by me when the world forsakes me ? Mimie who is going to be there for me when the world forgets about my loss and begins carry on with their lives ..
Continued on the next post
Tatts also revealed that she feared that she might be losing her mind over the trauma. See her message below.
tatts_zw I always came to you with my broken parts ? you always mended them for me with nothing but love and affection ❤️? You always caught me before i hit the ground ? You promised as long as you’re there I’d always be safe from the snares of the world ? but now i question my safety ? i also question my sanity ? im losing my mind its not making sense ?Its been over a month now and i still haven’t figured out how to say your name without it choking my throat ? im wrapped up and im so consumed by all this hurt …i have nothing left but anger mixed with love and confusion ❤️??the roads around me are leading me nowhere ?i wish there was a way to get you to come back cause i really needed you today and yesterday and the days before that too and i never thought I’d ever say type this but i desperately wish R.I.P meant return if possible but since it doesn’t Mimie rest peace ❤️??️
One day at a time i will try to take it ?If not for me then for our kids you left with me ?
